Life above the horizon

2007-04-27T12:02:00.000+08:00

Cruzer Crossfire 1.0GB -This is my newly bought 1GB thumbdrive at sgd23. Isn't beautiful?

What is more beautiful is that it can support Windows Vista new feature - ReadyBoost!
So what is this ReadyBoost about? ReadyBoost is a technology built into Windows Vista that caches disk reads onto a flash memory device. It can work with USB memory keys, flash memory cards, such as SD and CompactFlash, and other types of flash devices. It caches all types of file reads, not just the working set, nor just DLL's or other persistent operating system data.

ReadyBoost does not cache file writes—it's a write-through cache. That way, you never lose any precious data that's meant to be written to a hard drive. After all, a flash memory key can get yanked out of a system at any time. The cache itself is encrypted using AES-128 encryption, so no one can steal your flash memory key and casually browse through the cache file to see what you've been doing.

The minimum requirements for a USB memory device to be ReadyBoost capable is 2.5MB/sec for 4K random access reads and 1.5MB/sec for 512K random writes—and that rate has to be achieved across the whole flash memory space. When you plug a USB memory device into the system, Vista actually does a performance check to see if the device meets the standard. Vista won't allow you to use a device it thinks will slow the system down. Note that USB hard drives won't work.

Microsoft's general recommendation for maximum benefit from ReadyBoost is to match the capacity of the flash device to the size of your system's main memory. So if you have 2GB of system RAM, use a 2GB USB key. Note that some benefit is gained from using any flash device, and the capacities supported for ReadyBoost range from 256MB to 4GB.

So can it really speed up the system and how much?

"Well, that depends. On average, a RANDOM 4K read from flash is about 10x faster than from HDD. Now, how does that translate to end-user perf? Under memory pressure and heavy disk activity, the system is much more responsive; on a 4GB machine with few applications running, the ReadyBoost effect is much less noticable", Matt Ayers, Program Manager of Microsoft Windows Client Performance group, says.

2007-04-17T12:58:00.000+08:00

So WWW is part of us, no doubt, no argument. Who actually made this happen or contribute to this great phenomenon. A top 50 names (actually 62 people) that shape what we read, what we watch, what we hear, what we write, what we buy, what we sell, who we befriend, practically everything we do online every minute everyday.
[Source: pcworld.com]

1. Eric Schmidt, Larry Page, and Sergey BrinExecutives, Google
2. Steve Jobs, Apple
3. Bram Cohen, BitTorrent
4. Mike Morhaime, Blizzard Entertainment
5. Jimmy Wales, Wikipedia
6. John Doerr, Kleiner, Perkins, Caulfield & Byers
7. Craig Newmark, Craigslist
8. Peter Levinsohn, Fox Media
9. Marissa Mayer, Google
10. Chad Hurley and Steve Chen, Youtube
11. Kevin J. MartinChairman, Federal Communications Commission
12. Brad Templeton, Electronic Frontier Foundation
13. Henry Chon, CyWorld
14. Shana Fisher, InterActiveCorp
15. Niklas Zennstrom and Janus Friis, Joost, Skype and Kazaa
16. Matt Mullenweg, WordPress
17. Philip Rosedale, Linden Lab
18. Jon Lech Johansen, DeCSS decryption program
19. Jerry Yang, David Filo, and Terry Semel, Yahoo
20. Jack Ma, Alibaba
21. Brewster Kahle, Internet Archieve
22. Ray Ozzie, Microsoft
23. Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, Daily Kos
24. Jeff Bezos, Amazon
25. Robert Scoble, PodTech.net
26. John Battelle, Federated Media Publishing
27. Lawrence Lessig, Creative Commons
28. Meg Whitman, Ebay
29. Ron Wyden, U.S. Senator, Oregon
30. Michael Arrington, TechCrunch
31. Bruce Schneier, Cryptographer
32. Kevin Rose, Digg
33. David Farber, Interesting-People.org
34. John Hinderaker, Scott Johnson, and Paul Mirengoff, Powerline
35. Vinton G. Cerf, ICANN Board of Directors & Chief Internet Evangelist, Google
36. Tim O’Reilly, Oreilly Media
37. Drew Curtis, Fark.com
38. Gabe Rivera, TechMeMe
39. Dave Winer, Scripting.com
40. Mike Schroepfer, Mozilla
41. Perez Hilton, Hollywood Blogger
42. Paul Graham, Trevor Blackwell, Robert Morris, and Jessica Livingston, Y-Combinator
43. Mikko H. Hypponen, F-Secure
44. Rob Malda, Slashdot.org
45. Nick Denton, Gawker Media
46. Sir Tim Berners-Lee, W3C
47. Leo Laporte, (TWiT) podcast
48. Mohammed and Omar Fadhil, Blogging voice of Iraq
49. Jesse James Garrett, Adaptive Path
50. Tila Tequila, MySpace Personality

Someday, sometime, maybe you will see your name appear in this list!

2007-04-10T16:15:00.000+08:00

I am going to revamp this blog to be a "geeky" blog.. about some latest IT developments , some IT news that catch my attentions! And I might also rope some other contributors in to guest edit this blog! :)

2007-04-10T14:22:00.000+08:00

I am going to REVIVE this website.. hahaha..
it has been long since i last updated this website because I have been trying to maintain my other blogs.. which proven to be a bit too much for me.. but from today on.. i shall BLOG harder..

2006-08-18T09:39:00.000+08:00

真正的爱只能维持十个月，正好是由胚胎到婴儿哇哇出世所需的时日。这或许要从生物进化的角度来解释。但爱不同爱情，爱，或许只是一种由荷尔蒙分泌而激发出的感情反应，一如我受伤会流泪，开心会微笑，是一种很生物式的感情反应。
用一个不合适的比喻：雄性动物在追求异性时，毛会特别亮丽，叫声也会特别悦耳。
爱，只是一种行为，动物也懂得用舔触等动作表示『爱』，然而，唯有爱情，才是人类独有的能力。一个情字，令人类爱的行为，变得成熟、深沉，由一种单一的行为上升为一种情怀。

2006-07-30T15:32:00.001+08:00

Please see "Physical Activity Calorie Calculators" source link below.

The following healthy living recommendations will help you if you’re trying to lose weight, tone up your muscles, have aspirations of building lean muscle mass, are attempting to get a wash board stomach, or just want to feel better:

*1) Burn more calories then you're consuming everyday and measure your results using the following formula: Calories Consumed minus Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) minus Physical Activity minus the Thermic Effect of Food (TEF). A website that explains this formula in more detail and will help you determine how many calories you need to reach or maintain a certain weight is at http://www.primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/...

Get a diet and fitness calculator that you can put on your computer or cell phone. This will allow you to easily calculate the above formula, set goals, log your daily calorie consumption, and register your physical activities.

Set realistic goals for your ideal body weight. Here are two websites that will calculate a suggested body weight:
Adults: http://www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.ht...
Teens/Children: http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/exercise/w...

It is difficult and unhealthy to lose more than one or two pounds per week. There are 3,500 calories in a pound. If you eat 500 fewer calories per day for a week you will lose one pound. If you burn through exercise 500 more calories per day for a week you will lose one pound.

*2) Eat natural and organic foods found on earth versus something created by a corporation to make money. Eat meals in small portions throughout the day and take a good multi-vitamin supplement.

Avoid “High Glycemic Load Carbs” (sugar, pastries, desserts, refined starches such as breads, pasta, refined grains like white rice; high starch vegetables such as potatoes) and drink lots of water. Read this article for more information on high GL Carbs:
http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsou...

Do not try fad diets or diet pills. Here is an excellent food pyramid that anyone can follow: http://www.rayandterry.com/html/images/p...

*3) Exercise on most days by doing cardiovascular training and/or resistance training activities.

Read a book or find a certified trainer to make sure your doing all resistance training exercises correctly. A great book to buy that teaches you the resistance training basics is “Weight Training for Dummies”. A superb magazine to buy with resistance training routines that will not get you bored is "Muscle and Fitness". Signup for the free newsletter. An excellent free online resource is at http://www.exrx.net/

A good book to buy that teaches you the cardiovascular training basics is “Fitness for Dummies”.

*4) Get plenty of sleep. Sleep experts say most adults need between seven and nine hours of sleep each night for optimum performance, health, and safety.

*5) Educate yourself continually on health issues and make a life long commitment to good health. A great free publication is “Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2005”. A superb book to read is “You The Owner’s Manual”. An excellent periodic publication is the “Nutrition Action Health Letter”. A reputable test you can take to measure your biological age is at http://realage.com

Look at all areas where you can enhance your health. For example, make improvements in the quality of the air you breathe. Review outdoor air quality forecasts where you live and get an indoor air purifier. Send me an email or yahoo instant message to "gainbetterhealth" if you want an indoor air purifier recommendation and if you have any questions.

*Click on all the source links below to get the full benefit of the recommendations. The answers presented to your health questions are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
Source(s):
My 25 years of health research and experience.

Source Links:
Calorie Calculators:
http://www.nutritiondata.com/
http://www.calorieking.com/foods/...
Calculate Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR): http://health.discovery.com/tools/calcul...
Physical Activity Calorie Calculators:
http://primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/jump...
http://www.weightlossresource.com/tools/...
Calculate Calorie Requirements:
http://www.primusweb.com/fitnesspartner/...
Cell Phone Diet & Fitness Calculator: http://www.handango.com/platformproductd...
Desktop Diet & Fitness Calculator:
http://www.handango.com/platformproductd...
Free Online Diet & Fitness Calculators:
http://www.mypyramidtracker.gov/...
http://sparkpeople.com/
http://www.fitday.com/
Body Weight Calculators:
http://www.halls.md/ideal-weight/body.ht...
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/exercise/w...
Natural and Organic Foods: http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/products...
http://www.wildoats.com/u/home/...
Multi-Vitamin Supplement: http://www.carlsonlabs.com/product_detai...
Glycemic Index and GI Database Website: http://www.glycemicindex.com/
Harvard School of Public Health article on Carbohydrates:
http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsou...
MayoClinic Article on Water:
http://www.cnn.com/health/library/nu/002...
Food Pyramids:
http://www.rayandterry.com/html/images/p...
http://www.mypyramid.gov/
Certified Trainers:
http://www.acsm.org//am/template.cfm?sec...
http://www.nsca-lift.org/
http://www.acefitness.org/
http://www.nasm.org/
Weight Training for Dummies: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0471768...
Muscle and Fitness:
http://www.muscleandfitness.com/...
Exercise Prescription on the Net:
http://www.exrx.net/
Fitness for Dummies:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0764578...
Sleep Website: http://sleepfoundation.org/
Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2005:
http://www.cbsnews.com/htdocs/pdf/foodgu...
You The Owner’s Manual:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060765...
Nutrition Action Health Letter:
http://www.cspinet.org/nah/
Realage Website: http://www.realage.com/
AirNow Website: http://airnow.gov/
Indoor Air Purifier Ratings: http://www.air-purifier-power.com/top-10...

2006-07-19T10:59:00.000+08:00

Winning the Battle

A Guide to Tackling Cellulite
By Amy Carey

Cellulite. It's the hated substance behind "cottage cheese thighs." It's the reason women of all ages make resolutions year after year to go to the gym, to eat fewer calories, to battle those problem areas. But what is cellulite? And more importantly, is there any way to get rid of it?

The good news: Cellulite is nothing more than fat – fat you can indeed tackle. Cellulite owes its bulging, dimply appearance to the strands of tissue that connect fat to your skin. In women, these connective strands occur in a honeycomb pattern, which allows the soft fat tissue to bulge through the connective fibers. As the fat pushes against your skin, the bulging causes the dimpled appearance we know as cellulite.

A Quick Fix?
Before you run to the gym, you may be asking if there is a quick fix for those dimples. Do creams and pills work? Not according to Vin Ricciardi, certified personal trainer and owner of Total Body Shoppe in Southold, N.Y. He does not believe in cellulite reduction from cream treatments or wraps. Instead, he explains that the layer of fat underneath the skin is what needs to be attacked.

And nutritional supplement pills like Cellasene are not proven to work either, despite claims by the product's makers, Rexall Sundown. According to a Federal Trade Commission report, Cellasene's ads led consumers to believe "that a dietary supplement would reduce or eliminate cellulite," claims that were later deemed to be "unsubstantiated."

The lesson: Don't believe the info-mercials. Creams only tighten skin temporarily – if at all. Long-lasting ways to eliminate cellulite are not for sale. "Getting the muscles toned and the skin tight is the only effective way to diminish ... cellulite," Ricciardi says.

Working It Out
Many fitness experts, including Ricciardi, believe that the best way to battle cellulite is by building muscle. By replacing the fat behind those dimply thighs with muscle, skin becomes firmer and smoother with less jiggles. "Women must exercise ... to put muscle under the skin. This muscle will smooth out the cellulite area," says Joyce Vedral, Ph.D., a certified physical trainer, fitness author and creator of the video series Weight Training Made Easier. "You can get rid of it all by working out the right way with weights."

However, targeting a particular problem area with strength training will not solve your problem overnight. For instance, doing lunges won't eliminate the cellulite in your thighs until you start burning the excess fat stored there. But how? Since we know cellulite is nothing more than fat, it makes sense that the usual advice applies: get moving (walk, run, climb stairs, ride a bike) and reduce the fat and calories in your diet.

Reducing fat and calories is often easier to add to your list of New Year's resolutions than it is to enact. What type of diet should you try this time? "When I am actively participating in a 'diet plan,’ I will make the proper choices, but when I drop out of the plan, I go back to my regular choices," reports Dana Hansen of Hot Springs, Ark. For Hansen, eating well "has never become a habit."

Vedral advises women to stay away from fad diet plans. "That big initial weight loss with fad diets is just temporary water loss and muscle loss," she says. Long-term success is based on a healthy balance. "Balance is the key!" she says.

Having a "healthy eating" partner helps, too. Chris Viteznik, a mother of two in Jersey City, N.J., says, "Having a partner is very helpful. It is tough to go it alone. The support and accountability – and just the camaraderie – of others in the same situation are invaluable." She also thinks planning is a good way to watch what you eat.

Ricciardi agrees. "Prepare meals ahead of time,” he says. “Carry a meal replacement shake or bar when you're on the go. Remove all junk food from the house."

Being prepared might be the hardest part – and can be your downfall. "It takes time, attention and organization" to eat a healthy diet, Viteznik says. "When you are just starting out, [you'll use] any excuse to procrastinate!" Anticipate that changing your eating habits is going to be an uphill climb and line up your support system, whether you join a weight loss program, pick a friend or enlist a spouse.

Don't forget that simply laying off the peanut brittle this New Year won't melt away the fat behind those jiggling thighs. Exercise plays an important role, too. Ricciardi suggests that "cardio work could include the treadmill, stair stepper or elliptical trainer." Do this type of work "for at least 30 minutes a day, building up to 60 minutes a day, four times a week." You also can try exercise videos that get you moving or a class where you have the support of other women who are trying to get fit.

"I am absolutely not self disciplined enough to do a video at home,” Hansen says. “I have had a few videos over the years, and they ended up in a garage sale." Figure out the type of exercise program that fits your lifestyle and avoid those that make you uncomfortable. You're not likely to continue dragging yourself to a Tae Bo class if you can't keep up with the instructor or hate exercising in front of others.

Once you've started burning fat, now you're ready to hit the weights. According to Ricciardi, you should work out with weights three to four times a week, performing strength-training exercises after your aerobic workout.

What exercises should you do to start building muscle and firming up areas now plagued with cellulite? Try some of these:

Leg Curls: With a weight between your feet, lie facedown on the floor. Bring your feet up behind you in a semicircular arc as far as possible. Keep your torso pressed against the mat or bench without lifting your hips. Repeat 10 to 15 times. Firms up thighs.
Hack Squats: Place your feet shoulder width apart. Hold two dumbbells behind your bottom. Bend your knees to 90 degrees, and then stand up. Repeat 10 to 15 times. Tightens rear.
Inner Thigh Toning: Attach an exercise band around both feet, keeping legs straight. Lie on your side and extend your left leg. Hold this position for 30 seconds. Change legs and repeat 10 to 15 times. Tightens inner thighs.
Lunges: Place your right leg in front. Stretch out your left leg, place your hands on your hips, and bend both legs at the knees until you are an inch from the ground. Change legs and repeat 10 to 15 times. Firms thighs and bottom.
Step Exercises: Use a step and hold a weight in each hand. Start with both feet on the step, and then step off the back with your right foot. Don't allow your right foot to touch the floor before you use the muscles of your left leg to bring your right one back up to the step. Change legs and repeat 10 to 15 times. Firms bottom.
Ricciardi adds the following tips for women getting started with strength training:

Train with a partner. The ability to motivate and the sense of security each provides, increases the likelihood of her fitness longevity and reduces the chances of injury.
Don't dress to find a mate. Wear comfortable clothing in the gym that will absorb perspiration.
Remember the basics of strength training: consistency, determination and motivation.
Don't waste your time. Hire a Certified Fitness Trainer if your knowledge is limited of the weight room.
Plan workouts ahead of time. Always know what you're going to do in the gym before you go.
Write everything down. Sets, reps, weight, how you're feeling, what you ate and when. You can use these notes as a guide as you continue working out.
Through it all – the commitment to healthier eating, regular aerobic exercise and weight training – remember that it's easy to get discouraged, especially if you're not seeing results as quickly as you'd like. Vedral reminds women that "it takes about 12 weeks to see a clear change and up to 40 weeks to see most of it (cellulite) gone from a difficult area."

Ricciardi stresses that women should focus on the progress they have made rather than how far they have to go. "Take the successes, no matter how small. Celebrate those successes," he says. He also recommends to his clients that "they take a 'before' picture in a bathing suit in week one. Place it aside; don't look at it for 12 weeks. In the 13th week of consistent training, take another picture. Compare the two – you'll be amazed how much better you look."

When you do achieve the results you've been striving for, don't stop. Keep up your fitness routine and you won't have to make another New Year's resolution to get in shape again – being in shape will be a lifestyle. With support, a plan and a spotlight on the little wins along the way, you can make this year the year you get serious about eliminating those dimply, jiggling areas that plague us all. Get moving!

2006-06-01T16:16:00.000+08:00

Adventure of MARS

> ping mars-lab

Pinging mars-lab [192.122.139.21] with 32 bytes of data:

Reply from 192.122.139.21: bytes=32 time=1ms TTL=252
Reply from 192.122.139.21: bytes=32 time=1ms TTL=252
Reply from 192.122.139.21: bytes=32 time=1ms TTL=252
Reply from 192.122.139.21: bytes=32 time=1ms TTL=252

Ping statistics for 192.122.139.21:
Packets: Sent = 4, Received = 4, Lost = 0 (0% loss),
Approximate round trip times in milli-seconds:
Minimum = 1ms, Maximum = 1ms, Average = 1ms

******
ping was successful!

2005-03-14T11:33:00.000+08:00

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness."

Retrieved from "http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Shall_We_Dance"
Susan sarandon said this line in the movie "Shall we dance.. " regarding her opinion on the marriage..

Why we want to get married in this world!? maybe because we are too tiny.. if we live alone till die, we may not know what is the meaning of our lives..
we need to find someone so that we can have him/her witnessing our lives.. so true.. I have been wondering why I want to fall in love.. why I cant live the life by my own!? But then whatever I do I can only tell myself!! Whatever achievement I make I can only be happy by my own! Whatever failure I do, I can only heal the scar in my heart by my own.. there is no one beside me who can share the happiness, sadness, success, failure, or even every ordinary day with me..

Watched the romantic movie "Shall we dance?" A pretty nice translation from the original japanese same-titled movie.. starring Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon and Jennifer Lopez! Love to see the ball-room dancing part in the movie! It makes me longing to dance like them also! ;-) probably i should take ball-room dancing lesson next semester! I almost took it this semester but the fee detered me for taking (SGD 120, if I remember correctly!) however, maybe money should not be an excuse for us to search for the passion for life ;-)

Searching a passion for our lives...
Live my life to its fullest!

2005-03-02T11:32:00.000+08:00

Nice song...

Drops of Jupiter: lyrics

Drops of Jupiter

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way

2005-02-24T10:44:00.000+08:00

人和人的沟通一直是个看似容易但复杂的东西。有些人对任何人都可以掏心掏肺，有些人就喜欢把东西藏在心底。大多数人都会有三几个知心好友，能够畅快地抒发自己的感受。

从古到今，人们不断研究突破地域的局限，方便人和人之间的沟通－电报，电话，现在的无线网络，还有最具有突破性的网际网络。但是人和人的沟通还是存在着最基本的困难。有些话，你知道应该让对方知道，但是却担心对方知道后的后果！哈哈，矛盾得很。

Blog －我想是个不同的突破，一个人和人沟通上真正的突破。不假设对象，只是把自己心里想说的话说出来。我想那是最好的沟通了！没有顾忌，没有隐藏，没有限制，想说就说！我想这就是blog的魅力所在吧

2005-02-19T16:50:00.000+08:00

My little sin-er is my beloved youngest sister! She was born when I was in my Form 3 (15 years old). Therefore, I become her nanny most of the time since my parents were both working at that time! I can remember how she cried for the whole night and I held her in my arm while singing the awful 辛晓琪's song! hehee.. I forget the title of the song! But I remember it starts in this way..."回到想念的时光。。”
Although this was quite torturing, but she usually fell asleep in my arm in the rythm of this song! Miracle right?! hehehe..

She grows up as time goes by.. She is a very considerate sister and young kid! You cannot imagine how mature she is at her age and how understanding she can be! At the age of 10, she takes care of my little brother who is at the age of 7! Every morning she has to wake him up, make him bathed, make him eat his lunch... wear his shoes.. amazing right!? But she loves his little brother, i know.. though ocassionally they fight with each other.. but they are still kids!

I really love her a lot! I hope to give her the best i could!! Too bad I am too far from her to make her happy everyday, but i can only try my best to do so!

Loving you... my little sin-er..

2005-02-15T12:10:00.000+08:00

It was long before I last updated my blog! I went back for a long chinese new year holiday! It is getting boring during CNY.. the only thing that cheered me up is the fact that I could spend a lot of time with my family... my father, my mother, my precious little sister and precious little brother! I even got some time to go jogging in the famous Tasik-Y! ;-)

Apart from continuous eating, continuous tv-watching is my all-time-favourite during CNY~~ But I guess the TV was not earning money last year... coz the movies and the programmes prepared were so lousy!!!

Everyone said I grow fat this year!?? Actually, I grow fat every year! hehe..

Back to reality, I was saddened by "your paper is not accepted" news the first day I arrived in SG~ I really dont know how much longer I can tahan! Probably one day I will just give up everything and run away from this sucking school! But can I? or Will I?? I dont think I will... I will just tell myself... Hang on... just hang on for another few months!!! 15 months or longer??! I dont really know.. just please stop asking me when I am going to graduate.. I really have no idea when I am going to graduate! Sad but true! Well, no mood to continue writing.. I am getting tired now.. just wanna get some sleep.. and hope that I dont have to get up to go to english lesson! ;-) that will be a wonderful dream, i guess!

2005-01-19T18:22:00.000+08:00

我好像忘了该怎么睡觉了
搜索记忆妈妈好像不曾教我怎么睡觉
睡觉是天生的本能吧
就像打喷嚏
就像眨眼睛
啊，怎么办？
我竟然忘记了我的本能
不睡觉的我
就像不打喷嚏的我
就像不眨眼睛的我
是怎样的我？
是原来的我吗？
不是？那
原来的我到哪里去了？
啊，我不是我
找不到自己的我惊慌害怕

突然
我从睡梦中惊醒
开怀一笑原来我仍记得怎么睡觉

2005-01-18T18:20:00.000+08:00

找一把好弓，将自己射出去
Found a nice bow,
shooting myself out

在天还没亮之前
Before sunrise

我站在空旷的野地
standing in the middle of deserted land

看着迷离闪烁的夜空
gazing at the starlit sky

松手。但愿像是一颗美丽的彗星
I loose my grip.
I wish, a bedazing comet I would be

划出一条美丽的曲线
that beautifully arcs the dark night sky

2005-01-11T18:43:00.000+08:00

The Verdict...

Dentist: "What can I do for you?"
Yun: "I need a check-up to make sure is there any decay teeth in my mouth that need filling.."
Dentist: "Okay, open your mouth...hmm.. I cant see any.. all your teeth are good!"
Yun: "Are you sure? Another dentist told me that I hv tons of decayed teeth!?"
Dentist: "Okay open your mouth again?! Show me which one?!"
Yun: (using a mirror, pointing to one of the suspicious teeth)"this one??"
Dentist: "No, this tooth is good.."
Yun: "Then there is nothing i should do on my teeth now?"
Dentist: "I suppose so. But dont brush your teeth too hard.. "
Yun: "hehee..okay okay..thanks doc.. bye"

*************************************************************

2005-01-11T14:39:00.000+08:00

The most awaited event in NUS, in my opinion, is the opening of new semester! Why?! Usually, a Green, pleasant-looking "MILO VAN" will come to NUS to distribute free ice milo during the first two weeks of new semester.

Do you still remember the tasty ice milo!? The very "pekat" milo which is icy cold.. haha.. I love this kind of milo! There is no way for me to make such tasty ice milo regardless of how much milo powder i put into the glass! I still remember when I was in primary school, a similar MILO VAN would be parked in our school and then all of us would form a queue to get a little cup of milo... you cant imagine how small the cup was and each of us could only have "ONE"! But, here in NUS, we can take as many cup as you are able to drink! hehee.. wonderful right?!

Therefore, i guess, in future, the only memory i will have about NUS will be the green + pleasant looking MILO VAN!

(p.s. pekat is a Malay word, that means thick)

2005-01-11T09:58:00.000+08:00

Today is the "judgement day"! I am going to see the dentist at 3.45pm today! Feeling a bit nervous now! But what can i do except praying sincerely.. and brushing my teeth more?! hehee...

2005-01-06T13:24:00.000+08:00

Okay, I have decayed teeth!!
Okay okay I know.. doctor, you dont have to keep repeating.. then tell me what should i do now..
Huh!! filling decayed teeth!?! Are you serious??
Okay okay.. then fill lor!
What?! Cannot fill today? Must wait for 7 days later!!
Huh!!?? Have to fill 4 times? Why 4 times?! (I am really scared now!)
Coz too many decayed teeth?!
Oh my goodness, I nvr fill my teeth before ler! Will it be painful?!
Okay okay then I will come back 7 days later lor.....
***********************************************************

This is my encounter with dentist last saturday!! Okay I know guys.. i have decayed teeth (Please be reminded not one tooth but many teeth!) Oh my god! It is really beyond my imagination since I have been thinking and assuming that I have nice and healthy teeth all the while..

I really have to take good care of my teeth starting from today (But believe me, I am taking good care of them all the while!) I don't know how come they are decayed! Probably I drank too much coffee? Ate too much chocolates?

Nevertheless I have made another appointment with another dentist next week.. @-@ So I will wait and see what another dentist will say next week before filling!!

http://animatedtooth.com/filling.swf

2005-01-04T15:27:00.000+08:00

Another poem from Tagore:

Journey Home （Gitanjali by Rabindranath Tagore)

The time that my journey takes is long and the way of it long.
I came out on the chariot of the first gleam of light, and pursued my voyage through the wildernesses of worlds leaving my track on many a star and planet.

It is the most distant course that comes nearest to thyself,
and that training is the most intricate which leads to the utter simplicity of a tune.

The traveler has to knock at every alien door to come to his own,
and one has to wander through all the outer worlds to reach the innermost shrine at the end.

My eyes strayed far and wide before I shut them and said `Here art thou!'
The question and the cry `Oh, where?' melt into tears of a thousand streams and deluge the world with the flood of the assurance `I am!'

我旅行的时间很长,旅途也是很长的.
天刚破晓,我就驱车起行,穿遍广漠的世界.在许多星球之上,留下辙痕.

离你最近的地方,路途最远,最简单的音调,需要最艰苦的练习.

旅客要在每个生人门口敲叩,才能敲到自己的家门,人要在外面到处漂流,最后才能走到最深的内殿.

我的眼睛向空阔处四望,最后才合上眼说:”你原来住在这里!”
这句问话和呼唤”呵,在哪儿呢?”融化在千般的泪泉里,和你保证的回答”我在这里!”的洪流,一同泛滥了全世界.
(摘自泰戈尔诗集冰心译吉檀迦利)

2005-01-03T15:46:00.000+08:00

Hooray! I am in 2005.. How fortunate I am to be in 2005.. how many ppl have lost their lives in tsunami-striken areas? How many ppl have lost their family in this tragedy? How many ppl have lost their house and all properties?? But I am fortunate.. I am fortunate :) Okay I should start a new year with happier topic! hehe..

I watched "kung fu hustle" yesterday! Though there are some negative reviews on stephen chow's new movie, I am quite satisfied with this movie. It is one of the best made-in-hong-kong movies recently... He wrote, directed and acted in this movie.. I think this is not an easy task (That's y he took 3 years to produce it?!) I don want to repeat the story.. let you guys go and find it out yourself in the cinema or pirated vcds.. The effect is good and appropriate this time.. unlike "shaolin soccer", this movie is more mature and less "wu li tou"!! that's why some of the die-hard stephen chow's fans didn't like the movie.. since they expect more "wu li tou" in the movies.. but i think stephen chow is very smart.. he knows that "wu li tou" cant bring him more fame and also cannot last him longer in the "movie circle"! (A good example is jim carrey who is also slowly changing his movie style to more serious acting!) I think that's why he wanna change his style gradually.. the movie he made is deeper and less "wu li tou" now! That's a good change in my opinion.. He successfully made a good, motivated movie with a high-degree of humour integrated in this movie (e.g. the daggers stabbed into his body for three times! I laughed hysterically at this part!) I can feel that the structure of this movie is well-designed! The plot is well-written and almost all little details are taken care for! It is not easy for him to be a director, producer, writer and at the same time, a good comedian! final word ****/*****!!

2004-12-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

Massive sea surges on 26/12/04 in Asia was caused by the forth largest earthquake in human history (Ritcher scale 9.0). This dreadful sea surges had caused at least ten of thousands dead in Asia and the toll is expected to rise in near future. Massive outbreak of contagious disease may be attacking the tsunami-hit areas! Aftershocks are expected and could be destructive also. It was a tragedy that was inevitable but the effect is just too huge to be suffered by any country. What can we do against the nature power?

As fortunate people who stay in a country that is so close to the tsunami-hit areas yet safe, we should try our very best to help them.. Please help the victims.. if you have one dollar to donate, please do not hesitate to do so.. one dollar may seem little to many ppl, but to those who are suffering now, one dollar also can do the miracle. Fyi, SGD 1 can provide three meals for one people in Sri Lanka tsunami-hit areas now.

You may donate to Singapore Red Cross Society online
https://www.redcross.org/donate/donation-form.asp

There are also a lot of other channels that you may use to pass your help:

South India and Sri Lanka
AID-India is one of the few organizations actually on the ground co-ordinating relief and rehab work from Chennai. They have already sent $25,000 for immediate relief in Tamil Nadu. At the time of writing, this site has raised USD 79,670.00 from 809 donors (The figure now stands at Update: USD 372,829.00). You can make your contribution at https://www.aidindia.org/aidadmin/DonateToRRF.jsp

Sri Lanka
CARE has also already begun relief response programs. They expect to provide food for 14,000 people in Sri Lanka's Batticaloa district over the next several days. You can make your donations at https://donate.care.org/05/20130000/?source=170570040000

Meanwhile, the Sri Lankan High Comission in Singapore has appealed for
[1] tents, blankets, linen, etc.,
[2] water purification tablets,
[3] food (precooked, or ready-to-eat) (Please note no pork or beef)
[4] wheat flour, pulses, rice,
[5] Portable generators
You can contribute whatever you can and send them to the Sri Lankan High Comission, which is loacted at #13-07/12 Goldhill Plaza, 51 Newton Road, Singapore 308900. They will be sending a consignment to Sri Lanka in the coming few days.

Sri Lanka has no natural lakes, thus implying that fresh water is a precious commodity. [Source: WorldVision]. In the past WorldVision has distributed Family Survival Kits to the flood victims in China, to the victims of Hurricane Ivan; and several other crisis situations. Each kit contains blankets, water purification tablets, cooking supplies and hygiene products. Other critically needed items, such as food & medicine, are also included depending on the situation. Each of these kits costs USD 100. Given the situation in countries like the Maldives & Sri Lanka, such kits would help immensely. I'd hate to be sounding like a sale/spokesperson for WorldVision, but I urge you to really consider sponsoring a few of these kits. You can do so at http://www.worldvision.org/worldvision/eappeal.nsf/egiftrelief_ivan?open

Indonesia, Malaysia, Thailand, Maldives, India & Sri Lanka
Alternatively you can make your donation to the Singapore Red Cross, via the DBS Internet Banking website, https://internet-banking.dbs.com.sg. [If you're using this option, upon login, click on "Payment Services", then "Bill Payment", and then select "RED CROSS TODAL WAVES ASIA" in the pull down menu and proceed accordingly].

The International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent (IFRC) has launched a preliminary appeal for 7.5 million Swiss francs to assist some 500,000 people and bring immediate support to relief to the people in the areas most affected. You can contribute online at http://www.ifrc.org/helpnow/donate/donate_response.asp

2004-12-27T15:19:00.000+08:00

Free Love

By all means they try to hold me secure who love me in this world.
But it is otherwise with thy love which is greater than theirs,
and thou keepest me free.

Lest I forget them they never venture to leave me alone.
But day passes by after day and thou art not seen.

If I call not thee in my prayers, if I keep not thee in my heart,
thy love for me still waits for my love.

尘世上那些爱我的人,用尽方法拉住我.
你的爱就不是那样,你的爱比他们的伟大得多,
你让我自由.
他们从不敢离开我,恐怕我把他们忘掉.
但是你,日子一天一天地过去,你还没有露面.
若是我不在祈祷中呼唤你,若是我不把你放在心上,
你爱我的爱情仍在等待着我的爱.

By RABINDRANATH TAGORE

2004-12-23T16:18:00.000+08:00

One year is going to pass soon... 21/12 was ben chin birthday.. cant greet her since she is not in Malaysia these few days.. went hong kong with yit yit and the rest! So nice got Vacation!!

2004-12-15T11:09:00.000+08:00

woke up really early this morning to go to SIR (Singapore Immigration & Registration) to renew my student pass... Reached there at around 8.35am and got my application processed on 8.50am.. But beyond my expectation, I prepared everything well.. but the person in charge returned the medical report i submitted to her... why?? Why?? why?? I am really scared that the person in charge may make a mistake and ask me to go back to SIR to return the medical report to her again!! neVERMINd.. haven't happened yet.. wait till the thing happen then baru worry!
Can collect my student pass on 20/12/2004..

:P

2004-12-08T13:36:00.001+08:00

你曾经失眠吗?
我想每个人或多或少都曾失眠过.. 失眠的滋味并不好受.. 尤其是生理十分累的时候,但却怎样也没办法让自己的心进入休息的状态.. 头脑清醒得可以打好几圈的麻将..身体却连动一根手指头也不愿意..
我很少失眠.. 但前天晚上却失眠了.. 也不知道为什么.. 可能那天晚上的咖啡特别厉害吧! 12点躺在床上,到了2点都还非常清醒.. 很讨厌失眠..失眠有时会让我的思绪特别清晰..想很多平时刻意不去想的东西!
那晚,真的想了很多,但想得很乱.. 东想一点,西想一点~
想2004年快过完了,这个年头里到底我干了些什么有意义的事! 好像没有也! :P 实在糟糕..
想research要怎么继续,但好像结果也没有想出些什么来!
想朋友们现在都怎样了.. 工作的工作..出国的出国..好像越来越远了.. 地域上的距离也许没什么改变..心理上的距离已经遥不可及了..
想...想着想着,我就这样睡着了..

********************************************************

朋友到尼泊儿去.. 看了他们的相片和游记..特别羡慕.. 何时我也可以到那里去背包旅行呀? 最近到香港,台湾,泰国的机票都很便宜了..真想出去玩, 但心放不下!

廉价航空战越打越热了... 赫赫,希望他们继续打下去,这样机票也能越来越经济.届时,everyone can fly! hehe..

http://www.airasia.com.my/
http://www.jetstarasia.com/
http://www.valuair.com.sg/
http://www.tigerairways.com/

2004-12-02T13:59:00.000+08:00

2004年的最后一个月了! 光阴似箭啊! 今年年头为自己定下的目标好像没达到耶!! 游泳还是没有学会.. 今年根本没投上一篇paper..研究方面进度也太慢了.. 今年的我真不长进呀!! 好吧.. 怎么说也熬过了一年.. 总得相信明年一定会更好.. 展望明年吧.. 重新定下明年的目标:

1) 学会游泳.. 赫赫..又来了 (已经不晓得第几个年头了!)
2) Journal Paper!!!
3) 出国旅游!
4) Research 的 core part一定要完成

暂时先这样吧! 慢慢再想还要干什么..;-)

2005年的运程:
肖猴運
擺脫衰運
行運第10位

綜合蘇民峰及麥玲玲兩位師傅所言，肖猴者今年為霧水桃花年，人緣較佳，做事較為順利，容易有異性之助，較去年犯太歲有天淵之別。本年亦為思想學習投資年，寒命人宜進修；熱命、平命人有發展機會，不妨放膽嘗試，因已輸無可輸。不過上半年仍受去年犯太歲影響，容易引起感情變化。吉星有「陌越」，為地位提升之星；凶星有「天官符」，代表是非官非；另外也有小疾病及容易失去物件，如銀包、鑰匙、手機等。

1980年出生：今年事業運頗為反覆，雖然頗多新機會，但可能會因此失去方向，故應以退守為先，看清形勢再作打算。感情方面，略有分手運，與伴侶有不少爭坳，另一方面又有結婚衝動，需三思而行。

寒命人——出生於西曆八月八日以後三月六日以前（立秋後驚蟄前）

熱命人——出生於西曆五月六日以後八月八日以前（立夏後立秋前）

平命人——出生於西曆三月六日以後五月六日以前（驚蟄後立夏前）

2004-11-26T11:25:00.000+08:00

Having lazing around for too long, I have to pull myself back to work now.. Why why why I cant concentrate in my research.. Am I too lazy? I dont know..

Listening to Norah Jones's first album.. soft and soothing voice runs through my heart... very nice..recommending the whole album.. this is one of the songs:

Don't know why..

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road along

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

2004-11-22T15:47:00.000+08:00

I felt so bad today.. due to my impulsive decision.. i wasted SGD50!!! :'( i can buy two new shirts using this money!! Why why why am I so stupid?? Sometimes, I can be unbelievable stupid and do some idiotic thing!!! And this kind of behaviour makes me so angry with myself most of the time!! Do you have anything to cure this "stupid disorder"?

Okie.. recently I am obsessed with looking at fashion sites.. hehe.. is time to show off some of my clothes..

2004-11-21T14:44:00.000+08:00

Went home for almost a week.. what a wonderful week! :) Brought my family to A-Farmosa water world on last sunday!! Actually I hoped that it would be a wonderful trip but something happened that made us not so happy! My little brother was so scared of water until he could not play at all.. so "kelian".. what made the things worse.. he was fever after that.. we didn't know it could be so serious.. on the way back to BP, we stopped by Muar to hv our dinner. After that, I took a really dark road to go back to BP (not the normal one we usually took from Muar to BP).

Then in the middle of the journey, my little brother felt so hard to breathe.. he started to feel breatheless.. couldn't catch his breath.. and he started to feel so panic.. we were panic too.. coz he got so nervous till all his limbs were so tensed.. He held his fist so tight till we couldnot open his fingers..

Luckily we were nearby a little town that time.. and there is a clinic there.. We immediately stopped there and went to doctor.. the doctor asked my little brother to breathe into a pricked plastic bag.. and slowly he released his tension and slowly can breathe normally..

My goodness, it really scared us to death.. luckily nothing happened!!

************************************************************************
I found out that my little brother could have "hyperventilation Syndrome":

Hyperventilation occurs when a person takes quick, deep breaths from the top of their chest. These quick, deep breaths reduce the level of carbon dioxide (CO2) in the blood. This reduced level of carbon dioxide causes the arteries to constrict, reducing the flow of blood throughout the body. When this occurs, our brain and body will experience a shortage of oxygen.

Hyperventilation may occur due to a number of causes, most of them related to anxiety, fear or irrational emotional outbursts. Reassurance of the casualty and a calm approach often lead to the condition being quickly relieved.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS
rapid deep respirations
rapid pulse
a feeling of shortness of breath
pressure, tightness or pain across the chest
anxiety
dry mouth
blurred vision
In extreme cases which have continued for some time
‘tingling’ in fingers and toes
hand and finger spasms and pain
fainting

2004-11-04T13:41:00.000+08:00

Nothing much to write.. I wanna buy a new pair of shoes.. I have been wanting to do so for long time.. but everytime when i try to shop for them.. i couldn't find the shoes I like.. so "cham"!!

next week hv a long holiday.. hope that i can settle the problem I have in my hands now then i can enjoy the holiday well!!

Well, bush won the US presidency.. so in expectation right? kerry is not good enough to defeat bush.. Cant we find a better person in this large nation to take over the power?? I dont know.. but i m not US citizen.. what to do with me?? the only thing i know is that the price of raw petrol is rising again... The price of petrol is going to rise not soon after i think!

2004-11-01T16:54:00.000+08:00

Hehe.. this is the last week of teaching tutorial!!! I am so happy!! Though I may not be a good teacher for every student, but I did my best to impart my knowledge to them! :-) And at the same time i am learning also... though I may not be an expert in this area.. but I definitely know more than before!

I am listening to Rene Lau 刘若英 new songs. I always love her songs.. She always sings with a lot of emotion.. like telling a story.. 悲伤中带点洒脱 (很爱很爱你).. sometimes 无奈, sometimes 痴情.. (我等你) 我曾经很喜欢唱这首歌.. 觉得这种痴情中不失女性的独立洒脱.. 很向往这种个性.. 我觉得我太不够洒脱了!哈哈..

推荐这次的主打歌: 听说~

听说你身边有新面孔听说你不再寂寞听说你提起我
我过得不错忙碌中还有感动尝试爱过几个人面对爱也诚实许多
只能被听说安排着关于你我的对的或错的两个人曾经相似的却以为都变了
只能靠听说各自爱着不需要证明当时决定是错的想着联络不如心底远远问候
最美丽莫过于听说你还回忆其实我也感激当我听说你还相信爱情
听说我巷口你常经过听说你厌倦寂寞听说你问候我
听说我身边有新面孔听说你祝福了我

2004-10-21T15:23:00.000+08:00

很久以前，在圣城麦加，有一个富商的仆人上街买菜，结果就在人群中，看见了死神对他露齿而笑。他吓得连菜都不买了，回去向主人请求帮助。好心的主人借了他一匹快马，让他去麦地那城暂避一时。随后，主人自己上街买菜，又在人群中看见了死神。主人上前质问，你为什么要对我家仆人那样险恶地笑，莫非你要不利于他吗？死神的表情非常无辜，他说当时我不过是觉得奇怪，明明今天晚上我要在麦地那城带走他的，他怎么此刻还在麦加逗留呢？

这是我在多年前从一本电影杂志上看到的故事，摘录自一部古老而苍白的电影。这是一个关于宿命的故事，故事如同绳索一样缚在生命的挣扎与渴望之上，而隐身其中的神秘与虚无却足够走出电影院的人在盛夏的天气里冒出一身冷汗……在别人的故事里忽有所领悟，这，也许就是电影的魔力。

(extracted from 电影人生启示录----24部电影，24个哲理)

2004-10-13T10:18:00.000+08:00

I think I never look far enough.. A lot of wrong and bias decisions that I have made during my life.. Sometimes, I just looked at the very immediate effect of one thing and made the decision based on that.. For example, the fact that I chose my current supervisor .. I really thought he was good for me at that very moment, but now I am getting more and more regretful over my rush decision at that time.. will it impact on my whole life? I dont know.. But I know I can change the thing through my own effort.. I must be more hardworking, more initiative, more creative in solving my research problem now! Sometimes I will think what if I did another decision at every "very moment".. I dont know what would have happened to me now? You never know right? But I told myself again and again.. must look further next time!!! Try to plan and think twice before doing anything!!

Listening to "Fly Away - Fish Leong"

这一次是我自己为自己下的决定很小心你说慢慢来别怕来不及如果我

还有一点点不安或者迟疑我不会对你的反应那么好奇

落叶啊其实也很不愿意其实也不想回忆谁没等到错过了流星我们啊

交集在这意外的假期一定哪里见过你一定曾经梦见你

fly away 无穷无尽是你深邃的眼睛看着你就可以让我茫茫人海里感到安定

fly away 当我不顾一切无止尽追寻有一个人有一颗心早已经默默之中在那里

2004-09-28T23:05:00.000+08:00

Today is mid-autumn festival.. aka mooncake festival.. in chinese 中秋节. Met an ex-coursemate see seong just now.. he handed me my birthday gift from friends in KL.. really touched receiving their gift.. :) After dinner, I went home by bus.. again I give that damn 154 another chance.. and waited for 10 min... finally it came and I managed to get home in time to watch my recent favourite drama series..再生缘.. hehe.. boring life?? sounds boring right?

Full moon showed me the way back just now... really beautiful tonight.. Full moon was following each of my steps till i reached my home.. I remember when I was small, I always wondered why the moon keeps following me... then when I grew older .. people tell me that the moon nvr move.. I am the one who is moving.. Yeah.. I never stop moving ... sometimes forward.. sometimes backward... Never stay still at one place.. trying to stay parallel with the moon!! When when when.. when should I stop moving.. when should I stop for a while and try to appreciate the beautiful moon...

2004-09-15T18:42:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I realize.. I have less and less friends.. less secondary friends.. less uni friends.. why???
Last last week, i was back in batu... and i planned to meet up with few old friends.. but turned out that i couldn't find them... (okay.. i admitted that i only try to call once!!!) Then I just stayed at home.. watching TV, sleeping, and fighting with my bros and sis.. I always imagine that one day, I drive on the road... and suddenly my car breaks down.. who shall I call??? I DUNNO!!! WHO can i call??? Pathetic right?? I also dunno why I end up in this way? aiiii...

2004-09-09T11:56:00.000+08:00

wow.. time flies.. another progress meeting is coming up tomorrow.. hehee... I didn't do much last two weeks since my paper was rejected.. hahaha.. a bit sad over this rejection.. the comments given by the reviewers are somehow true and cruel.. hehee.. the reality is always cruel!!!

So Trying to improve my paper again and try to resubmit.. one year almost passed.. I really didn't achieve much this year.. no publication.. no new breakthrough in my research... What the hell I am doing actuallY? I dunno ler.. I am lost .. lost ... lost...

Listening... Somewhere I belong.. linkin park!

2004-09-01T09:37:00.000+08:00

Here to share some experience of being a tutor..hehe.. it was exciting and lotsa fun.. actually being able to teach is such a wonderful thing.. u can meet a lot of students who have different way of reasoning and thinking, which help us to grow and learn as well!

I know I am not expert in this discrete math area.. but i really try my best to give them a good tutorial class.. but somehow, i know some students think that i am not capable of teaching them.. hahaa.. a bit sad lar.. but i dun care... there are always some outstanding students.. so why bother with them!?

I went karaoke last nite with my ex-labmate and her friends.. now she graduated already.. no longer my labmate.. actually I am quite sad about their leaving (most of my close labmates are graduated) But what to do.. this is life!

I haven't been home for a very long time (1 month++!!) hehe.. it is quite long for me.. some people may laugh.. only one month!!! Not considered long lar.. but i really miss home a lot and miss my family.. so no matter how, I must go home this weekend.. ;-)

Listening to jay chow - 七里香 album.. (Ichiban!)

2004-08-20T15:52:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life... i will become a tutor!! hehe.. teaching Discrete Math.. undergraduate subject! Actually I got A for this course last time during my undergraduate.. but I almost forget all.. hehe.. moreover.. we learnt this subject using all Malay!! now I have to teach using English! I don't know many terms in English.. but I will work hard... teach at the same time learn! ;-)

okay, my friend is really leaving now.. she will take a midnight flight today!! took some photos with her just now and wish her all the best in her future encounters.. Life is unpredictable.. we may think that we may not have chance to meet each other again in our life.. but maybe one day she will come back to singapore or I will go to China.. who knows... Life is like a box of choc... u nvr know what u get next..ehehe.. familiar ya!?

Listening... 辛德瑞拉 by Penny Dai

2004-08-10T12:01:00.000+08:00

Hohoho.. I went ice-skating for the first time in my life yesterday!!! It was a very good experience for me.. I am very timid when playing "dangerous" games.. hehe.. such as ice-skating, roller-blade skating, swimming.. hehe.. to me .. i am very useless when going into water.. or standing on two blades.. hehee.. but it was really fun yesterday.. I was very scared in the very beginning.. but slowly, I got used to those blades.. and being able to start walking on the blades.. :) hehee..

There were some metal kind trolley which are provided for children to learn skating..ehhee.. then i stole one of them to learn skating.. it was really fun and helpful.. :) I am sure I will go for ice-skating.. but it is an expensive sports.... so i hope to at least learn how to skate forward first.. :) then i can really enjoy this sports :)

http://www.fujiice.com.sg/public.htm

2004-08-02T14:17:00.000+08:00

Ladies night.. hehe.. on last friday nite, we (a group of six ladies) went "pub-ing" & "clubbing".. hehee.. but we never been to any pub in singapore before.. so we randomly chose a pub nearby singapore river... unfortunately, the pub was empty.. my goodness, not even a single soul there except us and the bar guy.. so our plan to "fish" some leng chais... failed!! haha.. we were there from 9pm to 11pm.. at around 10.30pm.. there were some other customers.. but the quality of guys suckedddddd... then after that, we still felt unsatisfied!! so we went to Dbl-o (a disco on mohammed sultan rd) ... we expected to have some fun, some hot dancing to make our first "night outing" worth its price.. but.. too too too pathetic, we went to the wrong disco.. the disco was having "hip-hop" night.. and all the music were "hip-hop" style (e.g. rappppp)!!!.. So u know lar.. how boring we were since we dunno any hip and hop.. haha.. so we can only tahan for one hour... then went home fruitlessly.. hehee..

2004-07-28T12:19:00.000+08:00

One friend is going back to china soon.. she finished her master studies.. feeling a bit sad over this though i understand this is gonna happen sooner or later... I will be the only one left in this cold, plain lab.. but still feeling sad.. this reminds me of the time before UTM graduation.. everyone just leaves the life of each other like that.. we entered each other life.. 4 years ago.. made each other laugh, cry, hate, love... we left each other life ... 4 years later.. the only thing we left for each other are just endless memories.. suddenly feel wanna cry.. how many four years we would have in our life.. I really miss my university friends a lot.. I really miss my secondary school life a lot.. now I entered another phase of my life while my friends are doing the same in their lives.. once upon a time, we slept with each other.. we told stories of ourselves to each other.. we ate breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper together.. we went DEWAN KULIAH together.. Friends.. I will never forget you.. and the best memories I ever had with you guys..

Listening to FIR album.. (recommending songs: Lydia, Fly Away and WoMenDeAi)

2004-07-22T10:56:00.000+08:00

Someone said I am rich.. hehe.. to further agitate him.. I bought a new hp! :) Motorola C650.. but I haven't really started to use it yet.. but it is a cool phone with integrated digitcal camera... mp3 ringtone :D hehehe.. so nice.. so great.. but I actually want another model, which is a discontinued model from LG.. too bad.. they have no stock anymore! SO i bought this C650.. but I start to love this phone.. ;-)

Going to face a phd thesis proposal presentation on 30 July 2004.. haven't started to prepare the slides yet.. I am quite lz recently ... watching my friends who are going to graduate soon.. I feel envy of them.. really... regret of the decision i made one year ago.. am I really a "phd material"... I dont think so.. then why I risk my "life" at this? i also dun understand.. haii haiii haiiii.. but I will not give up.. No matter how hard is it.. is just for temporary.. it will be over sooner or later.. I will hang in... till finish..

2004-07-09T11:52:00.000+08:00

I think my life is getting more and more unorganised nowadays.. And I am getting older already.. I keep forgetting important things, important dates, important appointments, important meetings and so on.. How can I be so forgetful? Day before yesterday, one of my best friends told me that she was coming over to singapore yesterday and asked me to meet her up at Newton MRT station at about 2 pm. I promised to go but once I woke up yesterday morning, I totally forgot this matter.. Then until she called me up and told me that she was at Newton MRT Station... I only recalled this matter.. ahhaha.. then she had to wait for me for about half an hour..aiii... what is the problem with me?? I dunno.. back to her story.. she was heading to hong kong from singapore changi airport.. she is a nice friend that I met since my practical training.. and going to get registered with her going-to-be-hubby next week in hong kong.. though she looked tired and more skinny then before, she is happy! At least I can feel her happiness from her eyes and words.. Hope that she will be happy ever after with her prince of charm! ;-)

2004-07-07T13:41:00.000+08:00

Now writing my code again! :) coz i need to port the old code to new simulator.. what a boring task.. but hv to carry out this task also.. listening to "I will love again- lara fabian"..missing disco time.. haha.. probably i should go clubbing in order to live up my spirit once more!

***************************************
Did I ever tell you how you live in me
Every waking moment even in my dreams
And if all this talk is crazy and you dont what I mean
Does it really matter just as long as I believe

* I will love again though my heart is breaking I will love again stronger than before
I will love again even if it takes a lifetime to get over you heaven only knows

I will love again

People never tell you how really true you feel
I would die for you gladly if I knew what loss for me
So if all this talk sounds crazy and the words dont come out right
Doesn't really matter if it gets me through this night

[Repeat *]

If im true to myself nobody else can take the place of you
But I've got to be strong tell me what else can I do

[Repeat *]

I will love again, I will love again, I will love again (I will love again)
And do you know I will love again (I will love again)
You can't stop me from loving again, breathing again, feeling again
I will love again (I will love again)
(Loving again, breathing again, feeling again ) ... till fade
**********************************

2004-07-01T10:31:00.000+08:00

Haven been writing for long.. simply because I dun wan to face my own problem.. dun wan to tell myself that I should do this and I should do that.. I am trying to avoid facing this problem for as long as possible..

Read a news article yesterday.. HP has issued a worldwide warning about a flaw in its notebook computers (What a co-incidence! I just bought a new HP laptop few weeks back).. The defect, limited to laptops, is serious enough to cause users to lose data if their machine hangs. According to HP, the faulty chips, manufactured by major players like Infineon, Samsung, Micron Technology and Winbond Electronics - could cause problems when they are used in conjuction with Intel chipsets. The faulty memory chip is unable to cope with this process and this could lead to the computer crashing and the loss of data. According to HP, consumers have until the end of the year to get their faulty chip replaced for free..

2004-06-25T12:28:00.000+08:00

I am going to face a phd thesis proposal session... actually I dun have confidence in my topic at all.. feeling like I am on a ship which is going to sink soon! Have been working on this project for too long (2 years)... now finally I realise that it isn't a great project at all.. can it really earn me a PhD.. I feel very doubtful about that! How? How? How? Keep feeling unhappy and unsecure these few days.. Don't really have the motivation to carry on working.. maybe I should have a rest.. but I just back from long vacation!!! hahaha.. conflicting ya? so what can I do? What should I do.. someone please teach me?? Listening to "BY Myself" - Linkin Park

*****************************
What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red-handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
By myself (myself)
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can't rely on myself

I can't hold on
To what I want when I'm stretched so thin
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

**************************************************

2004-06-22T13:26:00.000+08:00

I am back from long holiday! Is good to have a short break before a long journey ahead! Sometimes.. I dunno whether I should continue this journey or not..maybe Is all because of one wrong decision!

2004-06-08T13:59:00.000+08:00

Heheh.. the posts I wrote yesterday are still here!! Appear from dunno where! Great.. I watched "Shrek 2" last night.. Quite disappointed.. Shrek 1 is much better than Shrek 2! There is always a saying that sequel will not do better than the first movie.. I think that is quite true (like MATRIX??)

2004-06-07T15:04:00.000+08:00

I wrote a post.. but it just hilang dunno ke mana??!! haiiiii... now I dun have any mood to write a new one liao lar!

2004-06-07T14:57:00.000+08:00

If you ask me.. what is my biggest regret in my life until now.. I will tell you.. the biggest regret that I have is that I don't know piano.. I always imagine myself playing piano.. so that I can pretend to be a "气质美女".. hehhe... too bad.. I dunno piano, dunno literature, dunno how to draw, dunno how to dance.. dunno how to play chess.. 琴棋书画无一通! hahahaha.. That's why I dun have 气质! Okay..stop dreaming..

Back to hometown for last few days.. that's always enjoyable being at home.. hehhee.. the main activity at home is to lie in front of TV and watch tv programmes continuously!

2004-06-02T11:09:00.000+08:00

Well, I still cannot add in "comment" function.. I guess I have tried to add in this function long ago.. but it didn't work since then! Sigh.. just forget it! Today is vesak day.. ( a Public Holiday in Singapore). However, I am in lab now because I still have to submit a report to my supervisor today.. poor yun! No matter what, work hard..

Play a game?? This is a very interesting game called "Code Breaker"... Try it out, you may get addicted like me..hehhee..

http://www.abeautifulmind.com/games/codebreak/index.html

2004-06-01T10:28:00.000+08:00

Another brand new month... feeling tired and exhausted although I didn't do much recently.. most of the time enjoying and watching drama series.. however, I am totally stressed.. really feel depressed... I haven thought of a solution for my research problem.. and I am supposed to submit a report by 11 June.. Totally lost.. dunno what to do next! sighhhhh... no matter what, life still goes on... I seem to use this phrase a lot! sometimes, I will think... Am I wasting my life now by doing this so-called "research stuff" that is obviously uselesssssss... haiiiii...

Watched "Pride"- a japanese drama series.. featuring Kimura Takuya (木村拓哉). This is a drama series about ice hockey, love and determination.. Very funny and sweet story..The background music in the drama series are very soft and nice as well.

2004-05-27T09:49:00.000+08:00

Someone has asked me to make "blogging" a routine.. that I should do everyday like brushing teeth, taking bath.. hehe...

Watched "Something gotta give" last nite (of coz downloaded movie!!) hehehe.. don ask me where to download.. i dunno.. The movie is really nice.. funny, meaningful.. there are few scenes that make me really touched.. two middle-aged adults falling in love with each other.. What is love?? There are so many answers to this question. To me, love is to accept another person totally and love him like he is part of you.. so the first thing to make you qualified to love another person is that you are able to love yourself and your family.. hehehe.. I also dun understand what the he!! I am talking about! Just ignore me.. hahaha.. since someone asked me to blog, so I bloggggg..

Still wondering should I go for M'sia Idol audition this evening... I didn't do any preparation .. scare men!

I still cant solve the problem regarding my research work.. somebody teach me what to do!!!

well, I think that's it for now.. let's see what will happen next moment in my life! Live my life to its fullest!

2004-05-25T09:04:00.000+08:00

MORNING... I woke up really early today.. hehehe.. coz I slept early last nite! Came across few blogs by some dunno-who-are-them Malaysians.. Quite amazed that blogging is so common among M'sia youngster.. I am going for M'sian Idol audition this thursday (Maybe not going) hahhaa.. I also dunno! depends on my mood lar.. Watched AMI3.. However, I was so disappointed when Latoya London was voted off few weeks ago.. and Jasmin Trias who didn't sing as well as Latoya London stays.. dun ask me why?! You know why!! Do we need to make it so obvious that pretty gals always have privileges!! :)

2004-05-24T18:32:00.000+08:00

Well, finish watching all episodes of Friends the final season.. They are really funny and touching.. the friendship between six individuals.. they seemed to be happy and funny all the time, but they cherish each other so much.. how many friends you have that you cherish a lot and they cherish you a lot too? More than your fingers????????? I doubt it.. I always have this feeling.. My friends are getting lesser..why? Because when people grows older, they dunno how to know more friends? They dunno how to cherish their friends anymore? Luckily, I still have some friends that I really cherish a lot.. I love you guys (You know who you are!!).. Friendship Forever..

2004-05-20T09:51:00.000+08:00

Well, still as hot as usual! I watched "Troy" last night. Actually, it didn't live up to the expectation. The story of Troy has been changed quite a lot. Brad Pitt is still cute. However, he is too babyface for the character of Archilles. Hector seems to be a great hero in the movie. The fight between Hector and Archilles is the part that I love most in this movie. The battle part is not really good. They are slow and dragging.. making people bored looking at the war scene. In my opinion, Helen is not "STUNNING" and "CHARMING" enough to make us believe that she will cause such a big war between two greatest country (GREECE AND TROY) at that time. However, I still think this movie is worth seeing since there are not many choices this week :P SHREK 2 and Harry Potter are coming.. i guess summer holiday is coming too!

2004-05-13T09:53:00.000+08:00

Recently the weather here in Singapore is extremely hot... hmm.. kind of unbearable! So this is my excuse for progressing slowly in my research work.. hahaha.. ridiculous, right? However, women are ridiculous.. as long as you understand this, your life will be easier!

Watched several episode of "FRIENDS" (Season 10) yesterday night.. They are very very very funny! hehe.. I really like Jennifer Aniston.. she is so cute and funny and beautiful.. normally you cant link these words on one single lady.. She made it! Sometimes, you just cant help to fall in love with her! (*** I am a gal!! But not les!!!) hehehe.. her hair is really beautiful! I will try to gather all seasons.. and watch them .. hehee..

Still life goes on like usual! Still haven't found the solution for my problem! But stay happy! don be bother with it first! hehe.. Life is short, play hard! hahaha ;)

2004-05-11T16:08:00.000+08:00

once again, I am in front of my pentium-4 1.6G Dell PC.. hehehehe.. I have this pc for almost one year but I never really utilize it well because it is in another lab and not the lab I usually in.. hehe.. confusing right.. as long as I understand what I am saying lor.. I am using this pc to run some simulations ... simulations again!!! So I have to install all the software I need in this PC again! First I install Ns-2, then Glomosim.. but at the same time I am so bored.. hehhee. .so I install amsn (a linux-version MSN!) Very nice software.. it has exactly same interface as Microsoft MSN! hehhee.. even the emoticon is the same! hmm.. now listening to my favourite album.. camomile.. I have just entered a contest in order to win a camomile blend - new album from emi fujita! Wish myself luck!! Hope I can win that! hhehehe.. hmm.. I am lazy to write a blog for cameron trip! Actually it is not much fun place in cameron.. what is the most important thing during our trip is that the gathering of old friends.. I don't know we can maintain this kind of "culture" (one trip per year) for how long.. but I really appreciate this effort.. I hope we can always have this kind of trip and Friendship Forever!

2004-05-11T15:47:00.000+08:00

Friends,
to me, you are still the same
No matter what is your hair style
No matter what you wear
No matter who you love
No matter where you work
No matter where you live
to me, you are always the same
the same person I know for long
long enough to know me well
long enough to make us love each other
and friends, I love you
may...
may happiness always be with you
may luck lady always stand beside you
may your life is full of joy and fun
Cameron trip brought us together
brought us apart
but, our heart will always be together

(In memory of cameron trip -7,8,9 May 2004..
Ben Chin, Inn Inn, Kee Yit, Eng Lye, Keone, Kok Tong, Jimmy, See Seong)

2004-05-02T10:49:00.000+08:00

Recently, I am facing some problems with my research work! Though I keep telling myself that I should not give up and should face the challenge with my determination, I still feel afraid and feel tired.. Feeling wanna give up my study.. I know this is very negative thought! hehe.. so STOP THINKING IN THIS WAY! So now I am listening to Mariah Carey's "Through the Rain"...

"When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved but nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And if it keeps falling down don't you dare give in
You will arrive safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail..."

2004-04-19T11:00:00.000+08:00

watched two julia roberts movies in a row yesterday.. hehe.. of course, watching pirated vcds.. haha.. anyway, is a very-clear-dvd-version vcds! So, they are very good in video quality and come with chinese and english subtitles.. hehe.. great! otherwise, maybe i can only understand 50% of the film! I still can't get used to American english. This causes me a big trouble when i first come to singapore and went for some movies without chinese subtitle!! One of these movies is "The Matrix 2 - Matrix reloaded".. ehhee.. u know, I could not understand what the "Kentucky Uncle" said in that movie.. and after the movie, my friend told me that is the most important part of the whole movie, in which "The Kentucky Uncle cum Architect" told us why and how he built The Matrix!!! My god.. at that moment, I really felt regretful.. I should have learnt my english well enough to cope with this!! Nevertheless, I will get myself a very-clear-dvd-version of The Matrix.. and watch it again!! ;-)

So back to my topic, I watched two julia roberts movies: My best friend's wedding and Runaway Bride. Personally, I don't really like the role in both of these movies.. but julia roberts really look pretty in both of these movies. In My best friend's wedding, she acted a woman that realized her true love a bit late (4 days before his wedding) and thought of 1001 ways to spoilt this wedding in order to snatch "Michael" back! However, the ending is nice ... at least I think all parties are happy.. this is the relationship.. sometimes u feel that u dun really like that person.. but actually u already fall for him/her.. just that u don want to admit that! ;-)

Runaway bride... a sequel of Pretty Woman.. hmm.. richard gere is no more handsome as he used to be.. julia roberts is as pretty as usual.. she turns to be a lady that don't know what she really wants.. and what kind of guy that she really need and want to spend the rest of her life with.. that's why she "fly a airplane" to her future-to-be husband for three times until she met richard gere.. hmm.. these two films have one similarity at least.. they pointed out that most of the time, woman don't know what kind of guy that they really want.. and they may change their mind very easily due to influences from other parties.. this is maybe the cause of so many unhappy lady and unhappy family.. as a lady, we should always talk to ourselves.. look through ourselves, think about what we really want to do.. what kind of life we really want to live on.. we should not just let our family, our boyfriend, our husband.. and our kid.. to become the rope that tie on our nose...

2004-04-16T16:00:00.000+08:00

Diamonds are girl's best friend... hehe.. actually I don't quite agree with this.. Nevertheless, a lot of women like diamonds. They regards it as the most precious piece of jewellery among their collection. Diamond is also the symbol of commitment from their partners. Diamond.. diamond.. though I never really crazy about diamonds, I really want to know more about diamond. Why it is so expensive? What is so special about diamond?

By chance, I passed by a diamond exhibition by Tian Po Jewellery here in Orchard yesterday. It was an exhibition for "hearts-on-fire" series of diamonds.. hehe.. A kind sales person showed me a 0.33 carat diamond under a "binocular". It was very beautiful. Actually I dun have sufficient english vocabulary to describe what I have seen... maybe you may buy one and try to look at it.. hehe.. (I din buy any!) Besides, there was a presentation also on how to cut "hearts-on-fire" diamond (The world most perfectly cut diamond!!).. diamond is the hardest stone on this earth.. so they use other diamond to cut the rough diamond... one thing is really astonishing.. diamond consists of 58 facets and the "shi fu" cuts those facets equally and symmetric to each other... purely judged by his eyes only!! ;-)

After the exhibition, I do feel that diamond is special in its own way.. but still, I dun really wish to have one.. cause it is too expensive and not really practical lar..

*************Some basic knowledge about diamond*****************************
If you've been shopping for diamonds, you've probably heard something about the 4 Cs — Cut, Carat, Clarity and Color.

Depending on whom you've talked to, their explanation may sound a bit complicated. But we're here to make it simple — perfectly simple.

Essentially, the value of a diamond is determined by two factors — size and quality, including the quality of the cut. Size is defined by a diamond's carat weight. The combination of the other three Cs make up the diamond's quality. Each C can be measured and assigned a grade by a gemological certification lab, and every Hearts On Fire diamond is submitted to the lab at the American Gem Society (AGS). The AGS lab is renowned for its stringent grading standards, and is the only lab in the world that assigns a definitive grade for a diamond's Cut. They adhere to the internationally accepted grading scale developed by the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) for assigning Color and Clarity grades.

*********************************************************************************

More links about diamonds:
http://www.hearts-on-fire.com
http://www.worlds-largest-diamonds.com/
http://www.didyouknow.cd/diamonds.htm

2004-04-13T11:19:00.000+08:00

It has been long since I last wrote here.. why?? hehe.. simple reason.. my laptop refused to work for last whole week.. and why?? becoz it complaint that its workload is more than it can handle.. haha.. in other words, I should not have given it too much work!! these are just all the excuses I gave myself to have one-week holiday!! hahah.. but the truth is that my hardisk faced a serious problem.. having ticking sound in the hardisk and.. it refused to start up my dear sweet windows.. so how?? I have gone back to my hometown.. and went to that dishonest computer shop and asked for hardisk warranty.. know what, the receipt stated that he sold me a brand new 20 GB Fujitsu hardisk.. but it turned out that the hardisk in my laptop was a IBM/Hitachi 20 GB hardisk.. so i scolded him.. haha.. what a great thing to do.. and he agreed to compensate a new hardisk to me.. hahaha.. must garang only then wont get bullied by these unkind people.. this is the new theory of my life now!! hehehee..

So, my laptop is back to normal now.. and maybe even better since I have cleared up a lot of rubbish in my laptop previously.. now listening to diana krall's "All for you" album... her voice is deep and "magnetic".. has a power of making you feel moody and sexy.. actually i should listen to her at night.. not now!!

2004-03-31T12:43:00.000+08:00

I have been back from Atlanta USA safe and sound.. Actually wanna write a travel log.. but too too "busy" which also means lazy..But I will try to get it done as soon as possible.. Going conference is a totally new experience for me! Meeting other researchers who are so passionate over their research! This is a good motivation to me! Recently, having problem of getting up from bed.. hehe.. This is not a common thing to me several years ago.. I used to be the first one to get up among my housemates.. Is it because I am growing older? No.. I don want to admit this.. hehehe.. I must motivate myself to get up earlier tomorrow! ;)

State Capitol of Atlanta

2004-03-19T19:41:00.000+08:00

Going to Atlanta on this coming monday... exciting exciting.. ahha.. this is the first time I am going to take international flight! Hmm.. long flight (almost 20 hours..) will i get "fei ji kong ju zheng"?? heehhee.. I think too much lar!!! Recently faced some problems in my research work! Always think that what I am doing now may be rubbish.. no one may ever think it is a great work.. so maybe i cant graduate.. cant get my phd.. why so "xin ku" just to get a phd?? is it worth the effort.. am I qualified? am I up to it? I don't know.. just feel very tired of thinking and working on this research topic!!

Hmm.. watched a movie.. called "Butterfly Effect".. not really sound logic.. but maybe make u think for a while.. if you are able to go back and change one thing of your life.. what will it be?? What decision you made in your life that made you feel regret? If you go back and change the decision, what kind of consequences do you think you may get?

Hehe.. I have thought of a lot of things that I would like to change.. but after all the thinking.. I decide I wont change anything.. Why?? Because "sitting in front of the laptop, typing out some words from the bottom of my heart", isn't this the most wonderful thing I can do in the world now? be contented, be happy!!!

2004-03-10T17:16:00.000+08:00

Arrrr... so boring.. my everyday work is just to face my laptop.. endlessly.. If I didn't go to university at that time, what will I be now?

A singer.. unlikely? Who will buy my album? Though "william hung" did give me some encouragement, I still know who I am?? How can a ugly duck turn to swan?

How about a writer? Hmmm.. not a bad idea.. but no big chance!! I even lazy to write on my own blogger!! hmm..

How about a fashion designer? ehhh.. I don't know how to draw since I was very young! My drawing always get a C from my teacher and I know well.. they all did it out of their kindness..

How about a "super" model?? aiya.. my height not even more than 5 feet!!!

Stop!!! Stop day-dreaming.. back to work! Arrrr..

2004-03-09T09:30:00.000+08:00

I hate raining.. why? 1. My foot will get wet when walking in the street during or after raining dogs and cats. 2. Rain spoilt my handphone before.. and so unfortunately, it came yesterday and spoilt my current handphone.. sob.. sob.. But still, rain drops are so important.. so although i hate it so much but i nvr pray not to rain.. ;-) So how ler.. what can I do? The LCD of my hp is spoilt.. ;-) I heard that it is expensive to repair it? Anyone got any suggestion for me? Aii..(Sighing...)

Recommend a good album for you guys - Camomile (Emi Fujita)... Soft and nice voice of her can soothe one tension.. make me feel calm and relax!

Camomile - Emi Fujita

2004-03-03T12:59:00.000+08:00

Just watched a touching movie - "Big Fish".. Life is as beautiful as the stories you tell.. yeah.. sometimes i would think why I have to lead my everday life in a such plain way.. however, i nvr think of making my life as colorful as it can be.. the only thing i know to do is to complain and complain.. however, did i ever try very hard to get my dreams come true.. to live the way i want to.. ;-) I don't think so.. Life is beautiful! No matter you agree with it or not.. we only have a predefined "lifetime" ..ehehe.. more techically, TTL (Time-To-Live) so live our life to its fullest.. cherish every second and never give up our passion! Live with passion.. ;-)

http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/bigfish/site/index.php

*** A man tells stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, in that way, he becomes immortal.. (Big Fish) ***

2004-02-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

Recently, one of my best friends told me that she was unhappy with her current job. I think this is always one of our unhappiness. I always try to tell myself.. Be contented with my life, Be happy!!! Sometimes, I still will feel unhappy due to some stupid reasons, such as my simulation is not working, there are some bugs in my program, my weight goes up... the list goes on. Still, I carry on with my everyday life. Sitting in front of my small but "powerful" laptop (Don't forget it is my source of "power" (Money is power), doing the so-called "research", listening to linkin park, I lives on... Share the following article with you guys, hope that everyone can manage their own key to the happiness.. I love a song very much- "beautiful - christina aguilera"... "I am beautiful... you cant bring me down.. " Dear friends, don't let those unhappiness bring you down! Stand up and be brave.. Let's live our life to its fullest!

是谁在掌管着你的快乐钥匙?

怎么我的命这么苦？为什么生活这么无聊？为什么我的上司是个女人？而且还是个上了年纪没人肯要的女人？有没有男朋友她也管，穿的漂亮一点上班她也管。真的比我妈还关心我。

我，就是一个这样的人。发唠叨应该算是我的习惯吧？常常因为这些小事而闷闷不乐的我只好发泄在无辜朋友的身上。他们礼拜六和礼拜天务必要出来听我发发唠叨，让我顺顺气，让我的人生填些色彩…但最今我发现自己有些不寻常？已经三个星期没发唠叨了。朋友都说：‘喂,你是不是病了？’，‘是不是又搞什么新花样？’，‘少了那条筋了？真的破世界记录了。’ 我都说：‘没事啊？我还活着,而且生活还瞒愉快呢！’ 可他们总是会回答：‘惨咯!我们的林小姐真的有点神经病了！’ #@$#@$@# ！！我发唠叨时，他们说我烦，不发唠叨时就说我疯。我还真不知道什么时侯的我对他们来说是‘正常’的？？？

为什么不再发唠叨呢？我想我是被他影响的吧？几个星期前在路上碰见他。他，是我中学时候的一个同学。曾经我们算是很要好的朋友吧。天南地北，什么东西男人女人都聊的朋友。就这样我们那天在咖啡厅从中午聊到晚上。我问他: ‘ 我有变吗？’他说：‘ 哦。。除了长高点，漂亮多了，头发卷了，其它的还是一样。你还是视发唠叨为爱好。’啊哟，真是知我者非他莫属呀！！结果我又开始发作了。从我的近况发到男友，再到家庭，最后工作。他看着闷闷不乐的我说: ‘甘吗不开心？发发唠叨，顺顺气就好了，为什么要影响自己的心情呢？日子还是一样要过的啊，而且我不觉得你的生活有什么问题…告诉你，我才刚被女友‘飞’了，工作也没了，被公司裁员，可我还不是一样要过活？有的选择，甘吗不选择活得开心自在？’我那时真的吓了一跳！没想到他现在的情况这么糟糕！可他一脸的笑容和快乐的谈吐，根本无法让我想像他现在竟然那么惨！！他继续说: ‘路，是你自己走的，快乐也是你自己选择，就看你自己怎么样去掌管？每个人心中都有把快乐的钥匙，但我们常在不知不觉中把它交给别人掌管。一个成熟的人会懂得握着自己的快乐钥匙，他不期待别人使他快乐，反而能将快乐和幸福带给别人！’我顿时好想被人从后脑敲了一下！想想他说的道理也瞒对的。为什么要把我的快乐钥匙交给那可恶的老姑婆掌管呢？为什么要交给烦重的工作掌管呢？干吗不自己好好掌管，活得开心自在，管他妈的什么老姑婆，工作，客户？？？影响我的生活，还可能导致荷尔蒙失调噢！真是太笨了！！！

就这样我决定了不再发唠叨。不过偶尔还是会发作一下。但至少我懂的会控制自己的情绪，不再为无聊的事而变得闷闷不乐，吃不下饭什么的。我把这个道理告诉了他们 - 那班猪朋狗友。而他们的结论是: 啊呀！你怎么这样笨啦！就一句 "一个成熟的人会懂得握着自己的快乐钥匙" 你就变成这个样子？’我说: ‘怎么啦？我这个样子又不正常吗？猪朋狗友说: ‘其实你的朋友是想间接说你幼稚吧？？因为你说你不快乐嘛，就表示你不会掌握你那个什么钥匙对不对？’唉…真是鸡同鸭讲！告诉他们也不会明白的啦…他们只会埋怨我的朋友把我搞成这样，以后都不好玩了。真的气死我也！！不过，我以前确实是有点幼稚啦… 还是用‘单纯’比较好听。

So，你的快乐钥匙已经收回来好好掌管了吗？记得哦…一个成熟的人会懂得握着自己的快乐钥匙，不要再让你一时的幼稚把它交给别人咯！人生短短几十年，好好的享受和活得开心吧！！

2004-02-16T10:24:00.000+08:00

I have visited an astonishing exhibition last Sunday, Prof Gunther von Hagens' BODY WORLDS. In 1977, Gunther von Hagens invented the plastination technique which marked the beginning of a second anatomical revolution. Andreas Vesalius who created precise anatomical drawings as early as in 1543 was the pioneer of modern anatomy. Since then human corpses have slowly disappeared again from the human eye with the establishment of medical schools. A taboo emerged.

Gunther von Hagens’ plastinated bodies obviously touch upon this taboo and trigger controversial reactions throughout the world. The high number of visitors, however, proves the general population’s need to learn more about the structure and functions of their bodies."

The aim of the exhibition is to inform visitors and to open up the opportunity particularly to medical laymen to better understand their body and its functions. When viewing the exhibits we can become aware of the naturalness of our bodies and recognise the individuality and anatomical beauty inside.

This exhibition inspired me a lot. I have a deeper understanding of my own body. It presents a very real view of human body in front of the visitors. All the knowledge we learnt during biology classes reappeared in my mind and this exhibition has successfully given us a second chance to learn more about our own body. For more information, please visit here.

2004-02-12T14:05:00.000+08:00

I have gone to USA Embassy in Singapore this morning. This is one of my "first times". Hehe... first time applying for USA Visa... It is located on Napier Road. Actually I didn't know how to get to that place. But I knew that it is nearby orchard road. Therefore, I took Bus 143 in order to reach Orchard Road and try to walk to USA Embassy from Orchard. Later on, I found out that the place is rather far from Orchard. By no choice, I took a cab. Spent SGD3 to save about 15 minutes' walk. ;-) Once I got to that place, I showed them the letter to ask me for an interview. The security personnel let me in but asked me to leave my bag and all other electronic equipments with them. After that, I went into the division where non-immigrant US visa is processed and got myself a "Q"-number. Then, a foreign guy interviewed me. He was very friendly and approved my visa application on the spot! Hehehe.. after all, this is a great experience for me and I am looking forward to go to Atlanta, USA. I think that will be another great experience for me since I've never been oversea before. ;-) Hopefully everything will be fine and smooth for my coming trip to USA.

2004-02-04T10:11:00.000+08:00

I have installed another wireless network simulator - glomosim-2.03 in my machine. I haven't tried to use it yet but it is very scalable. I need a simulator that is scalable to thousands of nodes. Therefore, NS-2 may not suit my need anymore. Nevertheless, I will try out glomosim and see how it performs. The installation of glomosim on Sun Solaris system is not a tough one. First of all download glomosim. Then unzip the package and tarball by typing the following commands:

#gunzip glomosim-2.03.tar.gz
#tar -xvf glomosim-2.03.tar

By doing this, we will have a new directory "glomosim-2.03" under our current working directory. Then we should install PARSEC on our machine by first setting an environment variable and adding a path in sun-solaris (with gcc compiler). In order to do this, I edited my .bashrc file (or .bash_profile) by adding in these lines:
PCC_DIRECTORY=/~/glomosim-2.03/parsec
export PCC_DIRECTORY

PATH=$PATH:/~/glomosim-2.03/parsec/solaris-gcc/bin
export PATH

Then, the system should be able to recognize pcc from the command line.
#pcc
No input files.

Then we go to /~/glomosim-2.03/glomosim/main/ to run the makefile:

#make

I encountered an error here. It may because the system is not able to find pc_api.h file. Therefore I copied the two .h files from /~/glomosim-2.03/parsec/solaris-gcc/include/ into /~/glomosim-2.03/glomosim/main/. Then run the makefile again.

It may run correctly. Otherwise you may encounter some error of not finding runtime. Therefore I copied the 'runtime' directory into parsec
#cd /~/glomosim-2.03/parsec/
#cp -rf /~/glomosim-2.03/parsec/solaris-gcc/runtime ./

Now get back to /~/glomosim-2.03/glomosim/main/ and run the makefile again.

After this, it should be run without any problem. After the installation, to check whether glomosim is installed properly, we go to /~/glomosim-2.03/glomosim/bin and type the following command:
#glomosim config.in

Then we can compare the output file "glomo.stat" with "glomo.stat.sample" under the same directory.

2004-01-30T12:29:00.000+08:00

First day using this blogger to record my everyday life. Hope the coming year will be a wonderful one for all of us!